Recently, I started playing golf. Now I’m obsessed. This is shocking to me: I’ve never done anything “sporty,” I’m not the outdoors type, and I rarely commit to things so far outside my natural abilities. But this new hobby has been, dare I say, transformational? I’m logging lots of steps, appreciating the air/grass/animals in my beloved west Texas environment, and enjoying enough distraction to clear my thoughts.
I know, this level of extreme enthusiasm might not sound very “in the middle” of me, but it’s an example of how I’m wired. Once I commit to doing something, I go all in. Sure, this new journey has led to some annoying side effects: golf has hijacked my thoughts (IYKYK); golf tips have taken over my social media feeds; and my closet now has a dedicated section for golf clothes (let’s be honest, the costumes are half the fun). But golf has also revealed itself as a game full of “middle” lessons that remind me how often success is cultivated from the middle - in sports and in life.
The Middle of Your Swing
When I first started swinging a golf club, I envisioned crushing the ball like the pros on TV. I’d rear back and swing as hard as I could. (Side note: watching early videos of my golf swing is humbling - it looked more like swatting a piñata in slow motion.) The result? Eight times out of ten, I completely missed the ball. Like, swing HARD and totally whiff. It was embarrassing. And it kind of hurts.
Now, eight months later, I’ve learned a few things. To make clean, consistent contact, you need balance - a swing that’s neither too hard nor too soft. I had to find my middle - a motion that feels right, for me, at this moment in time. (Another side note: I still swing and miss every time I play. It’s so confusing. That little white ball is literally just sitting there. Why is it so hard?).
The value in finding the middle in golf is also true for life. In the workplace, we need to strike a balance between trying so hard to prove ourselves that we dominate every conversation and staying silent in meetings because we fear being wrong. In relationships, we have to navigate the space between overanalyzing every interaction and avoiding tough but necessary conversations. And with our personal goals, we have to find the right mix of obsessing over every calorie, carb, and workout and setting the bar so low that we miss out on real growth.
The Middle of the Fairway
Golf courses are designed to test you with bunkers, water hazards, and rough that seem to have a magnetic pull on your ball. The smart play? Aim for the middle of the fairway. Granted: my ball treats that big, green, grassy runway like an exclusive VIP lounge I haven’t been invited to yet. But when my drive occasionally lands there - the perspective is invaluable. The next shots are more clear, and my ultimate goal (reaching the green) seems possible.
Life has its own share of hazards, and we can’t always control where we land. But aiming for the middle gives us time and space to evaluate the challenges and refine our strategy. The middle is where the hard work happens. In my life, I’ve experienced the most growth while grinding it out in the messy middle of a project or goal. Yes, progress in the middle can feel slow and uncertain. It doesn’t provide the satisfaction of a booming drive (the beginning) or the glory of sinking a putt for birdie (the end). But the middle is where I’ve learned the most about myself and what I’m capable of.
The Middle Mindset
One of the biggest challenges in golf is mental toughness. A bad shot can rattle your confidence, and a good one can make you overly ambitious. The key is to stay calm, positive, and focused—never too high, never too low. Sure, you can throw your club, mutter a few choice words, and question why you even play this stupid game (wait, were you watching me last week?). But the real discipline lies in finding, and practicing, a mental “middle ground” that keeps you performing at your best.
Developing a balanced mindset takes intentional effort. In golf, it requires spending hours on the driving range to perfect your swing and condition our thoughts. In life, the middle mindset doesn’t come naturally, especially in a world inundated with extremes - extreme viewpoints (just watch any network news), extreme goals (lose 20 pounds in 20 days), and extreme reactions (think wine-throwing, table-flipping Real Housewives drama). Fighting against these polarizing extremes requires practice. You have to intentionally look for truth, pause before reacting, and choose thoughtful responses over knee-jerk reactions. And that’s hard.
The middle mindset is where clarity, confidence, and real progress live - but it takes discipline and practice to get there.
Other Ways Golf Teaches Us the Value of the Middle
Here are a few more ways “the middle” plays a crucial role in golf (and life!):
- Middle of Your Stance: In golf, you have to position the ball in the middle of your stance for some shots (honestly, I’m not even sure which ones - but I’m learning). In life, balance in your “stance” matters too. It’s where you hold tightly to your values while staying open to other perspectives.
- Middle of the Cup: Aiming for the middle of the cup increases your chances of sinking the putt. Similarly, in life, we benefit from carefully reading the path ahead, adjusting for bumps and curves, and locking in on our goals.
- Mid-level Aggression: Knowing when to go for the green or lay up is about balancing boldness with caution - a lesson in risk versus reward. Those are powerful concepts - but you better be thoughtful about either leaping into a new adventure or playing it safe in your current role. There is a time and place for both approaches.
Where Are You OK with the Middle?
Golf has taught me that sometimes, magic happens in the middle. But it can be really hard to get there. It requires consistent practice and intentionality. The extremes get much more attention. But they can also get you into trouble.
Now it’s your turn. When is the middle right for you? Whether you’re a golfer or not, I’d love to hear how you navigate “the middle” in your own life. (And please share your golf analogies - I need the help).
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